The Strange & Wonderful Feeling of Being Foreign

You don’t really know what’s wrong
Except the pancake mix you bought doesn’t taste quite right
And the pizza crust isn’t as doughy
But you shrug it off

But as the days go by
These once perplexing details
Start to grind you down
And for some reason
You feel angry at everyone even though they haven’t done anything wrong

And every trip to the grocery store starts to feel like a battle
Because every time you open your mouth to speak people stare at you like an alien
And you really, really wish they would stop staring
Because you’re tired of standing out
Like the goldfish in the bowl that everyone keeps tapping on

Then there are the days when you feel like you’re the one outside looking in
wondering where the entrance is
Because you can’t seem to find the door
No matter how many times you circle the perimeters

And when a stranger asks you how you are
You think about sharing all of these thoughts
Except you don’t have the words for it
so you just say “Fine”

Now here’s a question:
How do you explain something in a language that doesn’t have the word for it?
You try on different synonyms
But something just doesn’t quite feel right
Like the sweater with the too-wide neckline
Or the pants that you can’t squeeze in no matter how hard you try

But then on your way home
As you’re about to resign
Plug in the headphones and tune out the world
Somebody taps you on your shoulders
It’s the woman that you always see at the library

She smiles
and says nothing to you
But for some reason
That smile said more to you than what anyone has said to you all day

About Living the Free Way

LTFW is a travel blog that emphasizes giving ourselves permission to do the things we love and stepping outside or our comfort zones. You can learn more about the author on the 'About' page.
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